"Where is the witch?"

Zatanna looked up at the sound of Wonder Woman's voice, simultaneously surprised and relieved that Diana had come through the front door instead of simply punching a hole where it suited her. The Princess was pissed.

Then again, if I'd spent the night as livestock, I probably wouldn't be in top form either.

She watched Diana, hovering with clenched fists – the very image of an avenging angel sans wings – take in the Amphitheatre. The crowd had departed quickly for... various reasons. Several of the hall's employees were now cleaning tables and stacking chairs. Circe's dancers were clustered in a corner, quietly checking themselves and each other for fur and fangs – I sure hope they got hazard pay tonight – although they all looked up when Diana made her entrance. No doubt they were half-anxious and half-hoping for another musical extravaganza.

Not likely, thought Zatanna. She threw some sparkle from the tip of her wand to attract the other woman's attention. "I wouldn't bother, Diana. She's in a good mood now, but you know how, um, capricious a goddess can be. Best to fly under her radar for the time being... so to speak."

Diana narrowed her eyes, giving Zatanna a hard look, but finally touched down. Her hands remained balled into fists. "Where's Batman?"

Well hello to you, too. "He's... around," she said vaguely, making an effort to not look towards the backstage door. "Talking to Circe."

The Princess's frown deepened. "He's trying to talk to her? That's madness! She'll turn him into an actual bat as soon as look at him."

Drawing a chair up behind her, Zatanna sat and tried not to laugh at the mental image Diana had invoked. The woman in front of her was not in the disposition to be laughed at... or with... or near, for that matter. She did her best to look nonchalant. "I know Circe's an evil, scheming goddess with a penchant for nasty transmutations," she allowed, "but she's still a woman."

She flicked her wand, pulling another chair away from the table. "Sit down. Take a break." God only knew how hard she'd flown to get here so quickly. Not everyone could enjoy the many conveniences of magic.

Diana looked askance at the chair. "Maybe I should go try and find Ba—"

"Oh, he'll be back eventually," said Zatanna brightly. "I'm his ride." And there was no way that, after pig sties and Sid, that awful naked man and the Underworld – to say nothing of Circe herself – she was going to miss the big reunion.

A thought crossed her mind. "Hey... how did you know that Circe was here?" Okay, maybe she was Wonder Woman, but if she had a way of locating a stubborn goddess that Zatanna hadn't—

"I contacted J'onn," said Diana absently, taking a seat with an air of great reluctance. "He told me where the two of you were, and I assumed Circe wouldn't be far away." She eyed the hired help and the men rushed back to their work, evidently deciding that they wouldn't be serenaded by a superhero twice in one night. "Although I have to admit... this isn't what I expected."

"This has been a night of the unexpected," agreed Zatanna, biting the inside of her cheek. The strain of not saying anything was almost too much to bear, but she was equally loath to undo her own good work. Bruce was lucky; she'd gotten very good at removing unwanted evidence of magic from videotape and camera film. One swish of the wand and all actual, physical confirmation of the Dark Knight's big number had vanished. The people present would still remember it, of course, but without proof it would no doubt be brushed aside as another tall tale from the crazies out in Mykonos.

Still... it was a pity...

She hesitated, then leaned forward with an extended hand. "I'm Zatanna, by the way. Big fan. Old friend of Br... Batman's." Damn. If it was possible to magically kick herself without drawing unwanted questions, she would have.

But Diana didn't even blink, shaking the proffered hand with a firm but not bone-shattering grip. She gave the room another glance before saying, in a low voice and with a small smile, "Yes, I recognized you. Bruce has mentioned you as well."

Ahh, on a first-name basis with the little piggy, thought Zatanna, then immediately felt contrite. "Oh? Not all bad, I hope."

The Princess crossed her legs. "Quite the opposite. He said that you can put on quite the magic show."

Zatanna sat up a little straighter, lifting her chin and trying not to beam. Really? "Really? That's nice of him, especially considering he doesn't completely believe that magic exists."

"It's not that he doesn't believe," said the Princess, leaning back a bit in her chair. "It just doesn't fit into his view of the world. If someone can do something he can't, it's an 'ability', or a 'power', but he draws the line at sorcery."

Zatanna made a face. "Seems like an awful thin line."

Diana shrugged in a gesture known to women throughout the universe as meaning one thing: Men. She scanned the room again, the intensity in her eyes in stark contrast to her relaxed posture.

Zatanna, meanwhile, was having a hard time believing that she was actually having this conversation with Bruce's... well, whatever she was. She suddenly felt awkward, pressed to make small talk, and the only topics coming to mind were related to quadrupeds. "So... how did you two meet?" she asked stupidly.

An eyebrow arched casually. "Alien invasion."

"Oh. Right. So does he still—"

"Diana!"

Entrance, stage left. Obviously the Martian in the Watchtower hadn't let Bruce know that company was coming, because he sounded just as surprised and relieved as Zatanna had felt... only about a million times more. He crossed the room from the backstage door in a fraction of the time it took Diana to jump to her feet.

"Are you alright? We—"

"I'm fine... it was a little close, but—"

"—went off a tip from—"

"—possessed you to confront Circe? She—"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She stared at him, a half-smile on her lips. "I'm fine."

Zatanna wondered if gagging herself with her wand would be too obvious a statement.

"We made a deal," said Bruce, and Zatanna's eyes widened, wondering if he was going to spill about the deal, but no. "Circe agreed to a little magical—" he almost choked on the word "—oversight. No more turning people into animals as long as we don't try to stop her from... 'making the big time'."

Zatanna crossed her arms. "I would have thought that was part of the agreement when she made parole. I'm really unimpressed with Tartarus management these days."

"It's hard for them," offered Diana, puzzled. "Overworked, understaffed..."

Bruce nodded, then looked down at Zatanna. "That's why you're doing to be the one keeping an eye on her."

"Me!?" She jumped up. "Hey, I'm a stage performer, a little sorcery on the side, and I'm happy to help a friend, but I never signed on to be anybody's parole officer!"

"Come on," said the Batman, a very Bruce-Wayneish note of cajolery in his voice. "For someone as talented as you, it should just be a matter of whipping up a few spells, right? Plus, I hear the pay's not bad."

"The United States-Underworld exchange rate is very good right now," Diana interjected, still looking lost.

Zatanna opened her mouth to complain...

"Of course, if you think it's too much work, I could always get B'wana Beast to help out."

Evil, evil man. With a huff and a glare Zatanna stood. "Fine," she said sharply. "If you're done signing autographs, then, we can go."

"I never..."

Diana was staring at the two of them now, perplexed. Zatanna turned towards her with the whole dirty explanation on her lips, but Bruce was quicker. "Not a word," he snapped, reminding her of her promise.

She glared at him. "Right. Not a word." Although, judging by the look on Diana's face, Bruce was going to have the truth beaten out of his sooner or later. That, or she'd start interviewing the Amphitheater's patrons herself. "Now if you don't mind, I have another show in about... seventeen hours that I'd like to prepare for." She raised her wand. "Are we leaving or are we leaving?"

"We're leaving," agreed Bruce, glancing quickly over his shoulder. Autographs indeed.

"Good." She stepped a little closer to the two Leaguers, had a thought, and smiled while muttering the incantation. "One Watchtower, coming up."

***

"This isn't the Watchtower."

Zatanna smirked as the smoke dissipated, revealing her dressing room. "Whoops," she said with exaggerated cheeriness. "Silly magic... one wrong word and you end up here with me instead of up there with him."

Diana sounded cross; Zatanna couldn't blame her. "And why am I here?"

At a gesture her viewing ball lifted from the vanity and floated towards her hands. "Because Bruce is an evil, evil man," she explained, smiling as an image began to resolve in the crystal. It is my spell after all, she reasoned. Besides, I am saving him from a beating later on. "And if the only woman I have to share this with is Circe, there really is no justice in the world."

Diana squinted at the crystal. "What is...?"

Zatanna shook her head. She had promised, after all, not to speak a word of it. Luckily she didn't need to. "Just watch, Princess," she said with a conspiratorial grin. "And listen."

The end.